Do People Change?

Dear Reader,

As you know, there is always someone out there who is struggling with a relationship or has a tough person in their life in general. I mean, come on, we all have that one person that we look at and think, "Grow up already". You always think that it's just a phase and that person will grow out of it. But do people really change?

People never change. That's it, plain and simple. You think that they will, but don't get your hopes up. There is always an essence of their past that they will never ever let go of. I'll give you a personal example. I have a friend, who in this story we will call J, that has been in love with the same girl since kindergarten. He is in college now and still loves that girl, but she only considers him a friend because she believes he is still very immature (which I do think so too). He makes very sexual remarks and messes with girls like those obnoxious jocks in the stereotypical high school movies. I've tried telling him that he needs to accept the fact that she will not acknowledge him unless he changes, and let me tell you, this is a constant issue between us.

I thought J would never change. He got on my nerves so much, but you need to understand that I thought that if he truly loved this girl, he would change. J never listened until one day, I saw talking to the girl he had been crushing on, and she was completely flirting with him! Eventually, when I got a chance to talk to him, I said, "I told you that if you change yourself then she would really like you". The next thing he said blew me away (probably because it was the deepest thing he had ever said in his life. He said, "No, you're wrong. I didn't change myself. I told her that I have liked her since I was kindergarten and I hope that she felt the same and would let me take her out to dinner, but she refused because she said I was too immature and that once I 'grew up' she would think about it. I told her that this is who I am and I am not changing for anybody, even the girl I love. If she doesn't accept me, then she's losing out on a guy that truly loves her".

People, what he said changed my point of view forever. People never change, that's true, but it is also true that there is someone out there who accepts who as you are. Your friends, your true friends I should say, are the ones who accept your flaws and stay with you no matter what. The people who know you best, will be the ones that want you to stay your fantastic self. So be who you are and accept it because if you can't, then no one will.


Alyssa :)